I'm going to make this one fairly short. A friend of mine recently posted a status on his facebook account that read "Is there an option where the Government doesn't get involved... that would be great!!! Thanks!" I see a lot of this kind of talk lately. And every time I do all I can think is that not only do these people want to have their cake and eat it too, they want to take the bakery as well. I mean, forget about the fact that this democratic government gives you FAR more rights than any other country. Forget about how they pay to keep you safe from attacks, and let you have a free market style economy, and provide roads and national parks and so many other luxuries that we take for granted on a daily basis. And on top of that, the first amendment gives you the right to bitch about it.
Don't get me wrong here, I'm not for socialism or anything of that sort. But when you sit back and really think about it, where else in the world would you have it better than here in America? And if you can think of somewhere, then why the hell aren't you there? Just leave already and quit the incessant bitching. To say that people take our freedoms for granted is a gross understatement.
The health care issue nowadays is where a lot of this is stemming from, and the way I can best describe it is with the words paranoia and selfishness. Any reasonable and rational person knows that the government will not step in and fully take over health care, ever. If they try (which they won't,) that's why the second amendment is around. There will always be privatized health care and insurance around for those who can afford it (as long as this country is intact.) So what about those who can't? There are people dying because they can't afford proper health care if any at all. And the people who CAN afford health care have a problem with being taxed to pay for those who can't. Now, no one likes a worthless freeloader, which is really a thorn in the side to those of us who work hard for what we have. Yet the ugly truth is that there will ALWAYS be worthless freeloaders out there, mooching away off of us hard working people. And as pathetic as they may be, do you really wish death on them if they don't have the money for a necessary medical treatment? Would you be able to sleep at night after telling a fellow human being "sorry you have to suffer and die, guess you should have worked harder in your life?" And what about people who lost their insurance benefits after being laid off due to the economy? Would you tell them that if they had chosen a better career path that maybe they could afford to take their sick children to the doctor? And what's really sick is that these conservatives and others who oppose changing our health care system at all probably consider themselves Christians. What would Jesus do? Well he probably wouldn't be so damn selfish to his fellow man in need.
So thats my story on this. I know some of you will get this in an email and you will disagree with me, and thats your right. Send me an email if you want to discuss it. Or if you can't take someone else's opinion, I'll promptly remove you from the mailing list if you so wish.
In closing: what happened to common sense and compassion?
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Honesty vs. Sensitivity
Lets say I have a huge booger on my face. Its green and disgusting and distracting as you're talking to me. Do you tell me about it, or just let it slide (literally and figuratively) in fear of offending me?
Maybe a friend of yours constantly sings to any song they hear, horribly off pitch- but they think they're the next American Idol. Do you tell them you like hearing their voice, or do you tell them you'd rather stick ice picks in your ears rather than listen to them howl one more song?
Lets say your friend is having relationship issues that are their own cause... They come complaining to you about them, expecting your validation but you disagree with them... What do you say?
What I want to talk about is the ultra-sensitive nature of society today. We're so afraid of confrontations, of looking bad, of offending someone that we hold back the truth. We tell all our youth that they're special and amazing, and they'll all be successful and rich when we know it's a lie. But why do we do this? What are we afraid of? The ugly truth? Yes the truth sucks quite often, but its the TRUTH and there's no changing it. Chances are your son isn't going to be an NFL player or a rock star. Your daughter is probably not going to be treated like a princess by anyone but you. So quit lying to them. It gives someone a false sense of entitlement, that they're somehow special as they are and they don't need to work hard to achieve their goals. It might make your child feel good now, but how does that set them up for their adult lives? It leads our young men to be anything BUT men, and it causes our young women to be spoiled and self-entitled. No one was born "special." Talent is a lie. Tell them the truth, that you have to work hard to be successful. When someone fails at something, don't say "Its okay because you tried your best." Tell them the truth: that if they want it bad enough, they'll work hard and do what it takes to succeed next time.
Lets say you have a female friend who's guy is treating her like shit. She comes to you to complain... but does she ever do anything about it? Tell her the truth; if she wants to be treated better, it's all up to her to demand it and/or earn it. Tell her that if she can't stand up for herself than it's her own damn fault she isn't being treated better. It sucks to have to break the truth to a friend like that, but a true friend will do it because they realize it's the only way to help improve your situation. Either that, or you can be sensitive instead and tell her that she deserves better because she is special, and that he's going to come around and see how special she is someday and all that bullshit. When you say that, you stop being a friend and you become an enabler. You enable her self pity and she won't get any better.
One of the best examples of the point I'm trying to make is how I coach my kids at pole vault. There are two younger guys on the team who were vaulting around the same height the first year I started. We'll call them "Jon" and "Tim." Tim was way more athletic than Jon and had a lot of physical advantages over him. I coached both of them the same way. When they did something right, I rewarded them. When they did something wrong, I let them know and wouldn't let them move on with training until they could get it right. Jon would work hard to correct his mistakes and move on. Tim would quickly become discouraged and take my critiquing personally. Before too long Tim started missing practices and Jon started improving at an exponential rate. By the end of the season, Jon had jumped more than 2 feet higher than the previous season and Tim had quit the event. So even though Tim was at a serious physical advantage, he failed because of his sensitivity and his inability to take criticism even when it was constructive. Jon took my criticism and my advice to heart and made something of himself. He didn't make excuses, he didn't take things personally. Now which of these two do you think is going to make something of themselves later on in life?
I guess what I'm getting at here is a need for a little more honesty. People's feelings are going to get hurt in their lives, many many times. Trying to avoid that is like trying to stop the world from turning. And it's creating levels of dysfunction in this society that are mind boggling to me. So lets just be honest. Who wants to give it a try?
Maybe a friend of yours constantly sings to any song they hear, horribly off pitch- but they think they're the next American Idol. Do you tell them you like hearing their voice, or do you tell them you'd rather stick ice picks in your ears rather than listen to them howl one more song?
Lets say your friend is having relationship issues that are their own cause... They come complaining to you about them, expecting your validation but you disagree with them... What do you say?
What I want to talk about is the ultra-sensitive nature of society today. We're so afraid of confrontations, of looking bad, of offending someone that we hold back the truth. We tell all our youth that they're special and amazing, and they'll all be successful and rich when we know it's a lie. But why do we do this? What are we afraid of? The ugly truth? Yes the truth sucks quite often, but its the TRUTH and there's no changing it. Chances are your son isn't going to be an NFL player or a rock star. Your daughter is probably not going to be treated like a princess by anyone but you. So quit lying to them. It gives someone a false sense of entitlement, that they're somehow special as they are and they don't need to work hard to achieve their goals. It might make your child feel good now, but how does that set them up for their adult lives? It leads our young men to be anything BUT men, and it causes our young women to be spoiled and self-entitled. No one was born "special." Talent is a lie. Tell them the truth, that you have to work hard to be successful. When someone fails at something, don't say "Its okay because you tried your best." Tell them the truth: that if they want it bad enough, they'll work hard and do what it takes to succeed next time.
Lets say you have a female friend who's guy is treating her like shit. She comes to you to complain... but does she ever do anything about it? Tell her the truth; if she wants to be treated better, it's all up to her to demand it and/or earn it. Tell her that if she can't stand up for herself than it's her own damn fault she isn't being treated better. It sucks to have to break the truth to a friend like that, but a true friend will do it because they realize it's the only way to help improve your situation. Either that, or you can be sensitive instead and tell her that she deserves better because she is special, and that he's going to come around and see how special she is someday and all that bullshit. When you say that, you stop being a friend and you become an enabler. You enable her self pity and she won't get any better.
One of the best examples of the point I'm trying to make is how I coach my kids at pole vault. There are two younger guys on the team who were vaulting around the same height the first year I started. We'll call them "Jon" and "Tim." Tim was way more athletic than Jon and had a lot of physical advantages over him. I coached both of them the same way. When they did something right, I rewarded them. When they did something wrong, I let them know and wouldn't let them move on with training until they could get it right. Jon would work hard to correct his mistakes and move on. Tim would quickly become discouraged and take my critiquing personally. Before too long Tim started missing practices and Jon started improving at an exponential rate. By the end of the season, Jon had jumped more than 2 feet higher than the previous season and Tim had quit the event. So even though Tim was at a serious physical advantage, he failed because of his sensitivity and his inability to take criticism even when it was constructive. Jon took my criticism and my advice to heart and made something of himself. He didn't make excuses, he didn't take things personally. Now which of these two do you think is going to make something of themselves later on in life?
I guess what I'm getting at here is a need for a little more honesty. People's feelings are going to get hurt in their lives, many many times. Trying to avoid that is like trying to stop the world from turning. And it's creating levels of dysfunction in this society that are mind boggling to me. So lets just be honest. Who wants to give it a try?
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